Michael D. is a 29 year old African-American man, married and the father of two children. He is a graduate of Asbury Park High School, The College of New Jersey and the Princeton Theological Seminary, has taught English in a public high school and is now a pastor. He become a Big Brother through the Mercer County chapter within the last year, matched with James, a twelve year old boy. Michael’s dad was not available to him when growing up and James lost his father when a youngster. James’ mother, who has debilitating health issues, was seeking an adult male to help her son with the challenges of adolescence.

BBBS: Who introduced you to BBBS?
Michael D: I was standing in line in a bank when I noticed a BBBS brochure advertising an event that already past and picked it up to alert the teller. But I was attracted by the quality of the piece and took it with me to my car. There I called the phone number to request an application and began the process of qualifying to be a Big Brother.
BBBS: Did you have in your own background a non-family member who was important to you growing up?
Michael D: Yes, more than one. The first was himself a pastor and the father of my best friend, and as I moved to another church, I was invited into the families of other men, each interested in my going down the right path. In high school, I was mentored by a successful contractor and a youth pastor who both introduced me to the finer things; the latter taught me how to carry myself and how to dress. I was very fortunate to have their love and guidance.
BBBS: What sort of experiences do you share with your Little Brother, from the routine to the most unusual?
Michael D: Well I don’t “buy” him. I want a relationship. We shoot hoops, play a little golf, sometimes we just walk around the mall. We have a general plan but we let the moment dictate what we actually do. We are just getting to know each other. Today, for instance, we are going to talk about things that have come up, issues I want him to acknowledge and discuss.
As to unusual, I wanted to buy a gift for my wife and he went with me to a jewelry store. I really didn’t know what I wanted and he gradually took over, suggesting better values or more attractive examples of the pieces I asked to see. Before long, the salespeople realized he was the one to please, that he was the knowledgeable buyer. It was wonderful to see his intelligence and social skills in action.
Soon, I want to have him meet my family and to see my roles as a husband and father.
BBBS: What gives you the greatest satisfaction/pleasure about your relationship?
Michael D: Sharing with him moments when his genius is revealed and helping him channel that real intelligence. He’s a very smart boy. He introduces me to his peers like a new possession, as if I add value to him by being his friend.