Dear
Abby
DEAR
ABBY: My 6-year-old grandson, "Andy,"
was "Daddy's boy" before his father and
my daughter divorced. Now "Andrew" (the
father) refuses to see Andy or even call him by
name. I asked Andy if he misses his daddy a lot,
and he nodded yes. It's overwhelmingly sad.
Distance
isn't the problem. It's that Andrew has remarried
and has a new son. Andy was named after his father;
his new brother was given the same name!
I
don't understand why Andrew is so cruelly punishing
the boy. Andy has questions about the father he
loves that we can't answer, and a brother he has
never seen.
I
hope Andrew will change his mind. He wants no contact
with Andy or our side of the family, but I hope
the rest of the family will stay in touch with the
boy. My grandson needs all of his relatives even
more now that his father chooses to be out of his
life.
Abby,
please print this so Andrew's family will know they
are wanted and needed, not to take sides or to judge,
but to love a child who is theirs, too. -- CONCERNED
GRANDMA
DEAR
CONCERNED GRANDMA: Your former son-in-law's
actions are very revealing. They illustrate how
shallow his commitment was to his firstborn child.
In case your former in-laws miss seeing this letter,
call them and tell them exactly what you've told
me.
If
the paternal grandparents choose not to continue
their relationship with Andy, you and your daughter
should seriously consider enlisting a male relative
from your side of the family to spend some time
with the boy.
If
that's not possible, consider Big Brothers, an organization
that provides caring volunteers willing to become
mentors and give of their time and friendship. To
contact a chapter near you, write: Big Brothers
Big Sisters of America, 230 N. 13th St., Philadelphia,
PA 19107; or visit www.BBBS.org.
