Tim & Darryl

Tim grew up in Mercer County, attended a local high school and college, studied law at Catholic University in Washington, DC, and after a countrywide tour returned to Mercer and is currently a young attorney with county government here. While he claims no precedent in his own life for understanding the value of mentorship by a non-family member, it was suggested by a co-worker, who recognized his compassionate nature, that Tim consider becoming a Big Brother. And in 2006, through BBBS of Mercer’s Mentoring Program in area schools, Tim did just that.

His Little Brother is Darryl. He lives with his grandmother who serves as his sole guardian and, though elderly, takes a very active interest in Darryl’s life.

BBBS asked Tim why he thought mentoring a young person was something he’d like to do?

I thought I could be a role model and wanted to make a positive difference in the life of a young person. The BBBS Professional School-Based program let me explore that and my relationship with Darryl gives me that opportunity.

Is the youngster you are currently matched with your first?

Yes. I responded to a recruitment outreach at my office and we were matched in April 2006. He was quite shy but gradually we got to be more comfortable with each other.

What sort of experiences have you shared with your Little, from the most routine to the most unusual?

Because of the nature of the Mentoring program, we meet many Wednesday’s at lunchtime at his school. We talk together, I help him with his homework, and I am there for him as a friend and adviser. But I also see him other times as well. His grandmother and I have a good relationship and she is very fond of me. I have been to their home many times and have taken Darryl to different places and events.

Darryl lives in Trenton and was attending a school that gave his grandmother and me some concerns. I encouraged them to look at other opportunities. The three of us visited both a private school and a public charter school together, and I helped Darryl get into the charter middle school he preferred. He’s done very well there and we have been exploring public charter and private high school options.

I have gone to see Darryl play in his basketball and baseball games and I’ve taken him to watch professional baseball and basketball games. It should be mentioned that Darryl did recently beat me one-on-one in basketball, but it was close!

Is it important that the Big and Little share something more than gender? How does social class or culture influence a match? In other words, how have any differences between your Little’s experiences and expectations and your own played out?

Yes. We share our common Trenton roots, though my young friend was born into a less fortunate economic circumstance than myself. But I have promised to be there for him for as long as he wants me in his life. I can be that positive role model, friend, and mentor, and I’ve offered to help him over or around the many hurdles life places in our way.

What gives you the greatest satisfaction/pleasure about your relationship with this young person?

When Darryl does well and is happy, I am happy. He recently made the Honor Roll; got accepted into a new public charter high school; and he is happy and loves his grandmother. These things give me my greatest satisfaction.

How do you think your Little would answer that question?

Darryl wrote, in a Thanksgiving letter: I am thankful for my Big Brother because, he is very helpful, open for questions, and always a good helper. He said I am also funny at times, and a good person to talk to when he is having problems.
(I thought the “at times” qualifier was itself very funny!) I am very pleased with this acknowledgment and the letter hangs on my refrigerator.

Interview, April 2008